Bloomberg reports that the smart money feels that the credit crunch is likely to result in further marriage / relationship break-ups, as money problems and difficult domestic arrangements just don't go. The news agency quotes Sandra Davis from Mishcon de Reya, who said: 'The credit crunch shows the more sinister side of human nature. When there are problems in a relationship, money papers over the cracks. But when the money is gone, the cracks are visible'.
'Remember me ? I'm the live-wire who went on the prowl in New York's trendy bars and fashionable hang-outs last year in search of a gullible (and very rich) investment banker to keep me in the style I sought to become accustomed to.
Well, after a rigorous selection process (which needed to be concluded speedily in early December as I didn't want to miss out on the customary expensive 'first-Christmas' gift), I finally found my man.
Although not much to look at, he was everything I was seeking in a mate - he was dumb, became instantly besotted with me and was truly loaded! After a few weeks of expensive dinners, luxury goods shopping with his platinum plastic, a few days skiing and quick weekend hops to both Paris and Rome, however, it all went sour. First, I found out that he'd been married before - twice. And his ex-wives and kids (he seemed to have several, although I didn't find out exactly how many as I refused to discuss them) took a substantial part of his disposable income (money which clearly I thought I would have first option on). I almost bailed out then, but worse was to follow. I discovered that he was a mortgage-backed securities trader and, you got it, he got laid off in February!
As my new car hadn't yet arrived ( I knew I should have pressed for it sooner), I was trapped. Forced to spend more time with him as he wasn't working, I was counting the days until the wheels arrived, and I could literally make my getaway. But then he did something really unbelievable - he downgraded my car order from a Porsche 911 Carrera to a Dodge Viper, claiming that he needed to be more careful with his money. I just couldn't believe how selfish he was being. Anyway, needless to say, I had to leave immediately.
So, I'm back on the market. Still 25 years-old (as I have been for the last several years), I'm now targeting lawyers - apparently those specializing in corporate recoveries and shareholder litigation are doing rather well at the moment, so I'm hoping to find my next 'partner' from the profession. A bonus is that lawyers are generally better looking than investment bankers (and slimmer too). The only downside, however, is that they also tend to be a little bit brighter, and I might have to work slightly harder (and be more clever) to obtain my dues. Wish me luck then.....'.
