Thursday, March 19, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
"All you need is a dollar and a dream"
That used to be one of the slogans for the New York State lottery.
And I like it.
And I like it.
Friday, February 27, 2009
A leap of faith
I just visited a friend's blog. Glad to know that he's doing well. I am happy when the people around me are doing well.
For myself, I forsee many challenges in the year ahead. One of my goals this year will be to complete at least one research-type project which very few people have tried. A sudden thought came to me... "You need faith to walk this lonely path, my son."
Yes, faith will be the fuel that keeps me going into the unknown future.
Sally forth, Stephen! You do not have a choice.
For myself, I forsee many challenges in the year ahead. One of my goals this year will be to complete at least one research-type project which very few people have tried. A sudden thought came to me... "You need faith to walk this lonely path, my son."
Yes, faith will be the fuel that keeps me going into the unknown future.
Sally forth, Stephen! You do not have a choice.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Ex-defence chief Ng Yat Chung joins Temasek
From http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_135992.html :
What is this?!! An ex-army guy with zero war experience is now appointed portfolio management managing director. Oh well, from Temasek/GIC's long list of investment fiascos (in companies such as Citi Group, Merrill Lynch, UBS, ABC Learning, Shin Corp...etc), I already get the impression that they are mickey mouse investment fund houses. This news article confirms that they do hire senior management staff w/o relevant experience.
Here's a joke that I found from the ChannelNewsAsia forum:
I should really brush up my resume and look for a job with our dear Temasek/GIC. If I get the job, I forsee many years of good returns... for my wallet... :D
July 5, 2007
Ex-defence chief Ng Yat Chung joins Temasek
By Bryan Lee
FORMER defence chief Ng Yat Chung has joined the senior management of Singapore investment company Temasek Holdings.
Lieutenant-General Ng, 46, took up the position of portfolio management managing director on Sunday - a newly created role, The Straits Times understands.
Temasek confirmed the appointment on Tuesday but declined to provide further details.
The appointment comes less than four months after Lt-Gen Ng stepped down as Chief of Defence Force and handed the baton to then Major-General Desmond Kuek.
It mirrors similar movements of other military leaders to civilian positions. Lt-Gen Ng's predecessor, Lt-Gen Lim Chuan Poh, for example, is the chairman of the Agency for Science, Technology and Research.
A career soldier since 1979, Lt-Gen Ng was awarded the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) Overseas Scholarship in 1980 and has since held many key command and staff positions.
Before taking the helm of the SAF in 2003, he was Chief of Army. He has also served as director for joint operations and planning and Chief of Staff (Joint Staff).
During his four years at the head of the SAF, Lt-Gen Ng was credited with improving the SAF's operational readiness and steering it into the next generation.
Outside the military, he is a member of the board of trustees at the National University of Singapore, chairing its campus planning and development committee.
Lt-Gen Ng is a Cambridge University graduate, has an MBA from Stanford University and recently completed the Advanced Management Programme at Harvard University.
What is this?!! An ex-army guy with zero war experience is now appointed portfolio management managing director. Oh well, from Temasek/GIC's long list of investment fiascos (in companies such as Citi Group, Merrill Lynch, UBS, ABC Learning, Shin Corp...etc), I already get the impression that they are mickey mouse investment fund houses. This news article confirms that they do hire senior management staff w/o relevant experience.
Here's a joke that I found from the ChannelNewsAsia forum:
During the interview...
hojin : show us the return of your investment for the past 3 years..
general : sure... *take out a stack of paper from his bag*.... nah.. this is my dbs fd, ocbc fd, uob fd... total returns for the past 3 years is about 2 + 2 + 2 = 6%
hojin : *turn to her secretary and whisper* how much we make for the past 3 years?
secretary : -35% and going down summore
hojin : *smile* very good - you are hired.
I should really brush up my resume and look for a job with our dear Temasek/GIC. If I get the job, I forsee many years of good returns... for my wallet... :D
Friday, February 13, 2009
Give me an apathetic SG guy over a gushy romantic Frenchman any day!
This was posted by Jamie Yeo on SPH Stomp's StarBlog.
Reproduced from http://starblog.stomp.com.sg/post.php?blogid=1092&cid=44019 as follows:
Reproduced from http://starblog.stomp.com.sg/post.php?blogid=1092&cid=44019 as follows:
Are Singaporean men romantic?
How would I know? I've only been out with a handful. It's not like I've dated every single available local guy out there. If I've done so, (I'd be a tramp and) I'd be able to answer this week's topical question reasonably and fairly. Ladies, it's human nature to generalize so I'm not faulting you if you've sworn off local guys after just one bad experience with a "Wah lau eh"-spewing, stingy mummy's boy of a Singaporean dude.
On the flip side, let's talk about Frenchmen for a bit. Everyone says Frenchmen are the most romantic! They are quick to lavish compliments on you ("OooH La la! You are so beeauuooooooodifooool!), eager to wine and dine you, and apparently know quite a lot of moves in bed. I wouldn't know. The Frenchmen I've met know how to sweet talk alright...to almost everything in a short skirt. Yeah they might tell you they find your body sexy and your face exquisite, but I'm pretty sure they'd say the same thing to the next long-haired lass they meet. And maybe they do know the right buttons to push under the covers, but they only know all that because of their extensive wealth of hands-on experience!
Romance is subjective. Everyone has their own definition of it. We all need and want to be loved in different ways. To me, romance is the little effort put in here and there. Romance is a warm surprise hug from behind while I'm cooking. Romance is a "You're so hot baby" whispered breathily in my ear while we're out at a club. Romance is rubbing my tired feet after I've had a long day in my heels. Romance is hearing and asking what I want with the intent to meet it. Romance is finding me sexy even when I don't have any make-up on. Romance is deep long conversations into the night. True romance to me is also a healthy sex life. No relationship can be healthy without regular sex. Ask any marriage counsellor and they'll tell you the same thing.
Like I said at the start, I've only been out with a handful of Singaporean men. So I'm going to use my friends and my collective experience to best answer the question.
Singaporean men are alright. They aren't the most romantic I admit but they do try to make an effort. To be fair, a few local guys are extremely romantic, meeting the definition of "romance" in every way. (I know a girlfriend whose husband of 4 years still leaves little love notes on the pillow occasionally). However, most SG men aren't really and in the process cancel out the minority of die-hard romantics.
Still, I fully admit that I, along with the rest of the female population here, am too picky for my own good. My standards are too high. I should first take a long hard look at myself. Am I romantic? Do I make the effort? So what if I'm a girl, I can be the romancer too instead of being the passive "romancee"!Oh, what am I saying? It's exactly because I'm a lady that I should be worth the effort. All throughout history, men have fought with each other, bled, frowned, wept, stressed and toiled over courting and romancing and pleasing women. History is sacred, gentlemen! Woe is he who tries to change its course. It is your duty to romance us, even if we're fussy, picky and annoying. For we are also beautiful, sexy, loving and endearing. And don't forget, you need us. We bear you children.
Jamie displays both beauty and brains with this playful yet intelligent post.
Women! Can't live with them, but we can't live without them either.
Motivational Story 03 (YOU ARE NOT ALONE)
This was posted on the Credit Counselling Singapore website. Reproduced from http://www.ccs.org.sg/alone.html as follows:
Story from Mr Ben (in his 40s):
I particularly like the bolded statements.
Use your credit facilities wisely.
Story from Mr Ben (in his 40s):
This is my story:I am working as a Manager drawing a salary of S$6,000 per month. To many people I know, this is an upper salary bracket. However, to me this is the minimum sum required to keep my family survive. This amount do not include allowance for food. My wife has to work to help me make ends meet. And I only have one son who is in secondary school now. This is because three quarter of my salary is used to pay my credit card debts.
Sounds tough ... it was tougher two years ago when almost all the banks who had issued me with credit cards, magnified and spelled out the fine wordings stated in the terms and conditions that I had earlier signed; except I must add CITIBANK who was quick to equitably help me restructure my credit card debt to term loan. The same banks who had for many, many years loan me the money and treat me like VIP as a customer at the front counter had now transferred my acounts to their Collection Dept who termed me legally as debtor. The legal language switched from Banking Act to Bankruptcy Act. Many are armed with willing lawyers who had memorised the Bankruptcy Act by heart to prey on obviously unrepresented debtor. Some of the banks employed licenced 'Tai Long' who are fond of offending and breaching the debtor's privacy. It was a very tough period for me; psychologically.
I requested the help of The Association Bank of Singapore who directed me to Credit Counselling Singapore (CCS). The latter had helped me mitigate the situation by summarising my expenses and expenditure thereby showed me my financial strong and weak point. My financial situation was dire; I can easily submit to bankruptcy but I opt to be responsible for my debts. Now I am still struggling to pay back my debt but at least I can see the light. Four years more and I hope to be free of the credit card debts and bank loans of more than S$100k.I now prefer Debit Card.
CCS is well recognised by the government, the banks and the courts. My advice is if you are having "credit card problems" talk to them first.
I particularly like the bolded statements.
Use your credit facilities wisely.
Motivational Story 02
Another motivational story to encourage everyone to press on during this tough time.
This was posted by Sharkula on ChannelNewsAsia's Market Talk forum on 12 Feb 2009. Reproduced as follows (link is not posted as CNA deletes threads frequently):
This was posted by Sharkula on ChannelNewsAsia's Market Talk forum on 12 Feb 2009. Reproduced as follows (link is not posted as CNA deletes threads frequently):
I lost $120,000 in 1997...I recovered everything by 1999 very cham man that time....got home also don't dare to go back (creditors chasing after me)....sleep in park....sleep until 4am...stupid heavy down pour....sleep under hdb void deck....residents call police....nbz.... no money to buy cigarettes....basket have to pick unfinished cigarettes from dustbins to smoke left with $1 in pocket dun dare to use....keep the money to make phonecalls....have to walk from Yishun to Bukit Timah to get money.
Motivational Story 01 (Friends during Recession)
This was posted by xtreyier on SgForums on 21 Jan 2009. Reproduced from http://sports.sgforums.com/forums/10/topics/345094 as follows:
Friends are the most important people in one's life, someone whom you can relate to, look up to, and confide to, more so when experiencing bad weathers such as this crisis.
A dry shelter and hot soup from the pouring rain warms the heart.
While everyone is affected by the doom and gloom of the recession, many faced it in varying degrees. Some are least affected, and felt more as an irritation, and some totally overwhelmed and left helpless.
For those of us who can get by, we must never abandon the seemingly helpless. While we may not have sums of money to lend, we can still afford a meal or two, a coffee or two, an ear or two to comfort and encourage.
No fellow Singaporean must be left alone in helplessness. We are a civilised society, with the building blocks being our own family, relatives and friends. This recession was not of our making or our mistake. It came out of the blue like a Tsunami wave rushing towards all, overwhelming many.We must each encourage one another, never to give up on hope, for the reality is that bad times, like good times, dont last. Today, some may be down, but tomorrow they will rise.
This is the natural course of journey in life. And good friends will make that journey better and more meaningful as life is shared.
I remembered during NS days, one of my collegue was sitting on the parapet of a HDB top floor corridor after booking out of camp at night. I and several friends spent 6 hours into the early morning talking him out of jumping because of a failed relationship over his grad girlfriend who ditched him for a brit foreign talent.
We failed our IPPT test a few hours later as we did not have enough sleep and was sentenced to RT training. The pain was real, but certainly not as painful compared to a friend if lost in a suicide.
There was a time when I was down and out, and abandoned by 'friends' and family. I will always remember the indian mamak who pressed a bun into my shivering hands, the chinese construction supervisor who ordered and paid for a plate of chicken rice to me when he saw me drinking plain water with a bun in a coffeeshop, and the Muslim matron who invited me to her home and had dinner with her family, amongst many who were kind to me.
I have a brain, hands and legs, courage and determination to face up and pay for my errors and knew I would succeed again, and when i did, I repaid those kind people many times over.As much as others condemn us as kiasu people, at heart, we are kind people. And these people are my fellow citizens - Singaporeans. Flawed, imperfect, whiners, seemingly uncaring, but heart always in the right place.
Therefore, dont give up on hope or giving out hope to others. We all will ride out this recession together, stronger as a society as long as no one is suffer alone or left alone. Friendships are all the more important now, whether you are an 8 year old or 80 year old.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Jokes
叉烧包和空心包去看一个很伤感的电影， 为什么只有叉烧包哭了？
因为叉烧包有filling （feeling）
叉烧包后来和豆沙包去看一个很伤感的电影， 为什么只有叉烧包哭得比较伤感？
因为他们有不同的 filling （feeling）
小明是喝牛奶长大的，那么请问大明是喝什么长大的？
酒 （酒养大名“明”）
一天阿包被杀了，警察很快就找出凶手，请问是谁杀的？
阿豆杀的 （豆沙“杀”包）
为什么米粉会说鱼不老实？
因为鱼片“骗”米粉
两个女人面对面冲凉，猜一句成语。
豆奶 （斗奶）
Happy姓什么？
Lee （因为：Happily）
Happy是男的还是女的？
Male （因为：Happymeal）
请问人的心是什么颜色的呢？
黄色 （因为人心黄黄（人心惶惶）
什么书是任何书局都买不到的？
秘书
狗为什么害怕日光浴？
因为它怕变成热狗
小明只会花钱，天天花很多钱,可最后却成了百万富翁,为什么？
他以前是億萬富翁，千萬富翁
什么动物的头最常被人扭？
水龙（头）
美丽的公主结婚以后就不挂蚊帐了，为什么？
因为她嫁给了青蛙王子
因为叉烧包有filling （feeling）
叉烧包后来和豆沙包去看一个很伤感的电影， 为什么只有叉烧包哭得比较伤感？
因为他们有不同的 filling （feeling）
小明是喝牛奶长大的，那么请问大明是喝什么长大的？
酒 （酒养大名“明”）
一天阿包被杀了，警察很快就找出凶手，请问是谁杀的？
阿豆杀的 （豆沙“杀”包）
为什么米粉会说鱼不老实？
因为鱼片“骗”米粉
两个女人面对面冲凉，猜一句成语。
豆奶 （斗奶）
Happy姓什么？
Lee （因为：Happily）
Happy是男的还是女的？
Male （因为：Happymeal）
请问人的心是什么颜色的呢？
黄色 （因为人心黄黄（人心惶惶）
什么书是任何书局都买不到的？
秘书
狗为什么害怕日光浴？
因为它怕变成热狗
小明只会花钱，天天花很多钱,可最后却成了百万富翁,为什么？
他以前是億萬富翁，千萬富翁
什么动物的头最常被人扭？
水龙（头）
美丽的公主结婚以后就不挂蚊帐了，为什么？
因为她嫁给了青蛙王子
Thursday, January 29, 2009
S$144.6m contract awarded for Punggol redevelopment
SINGAPORE: The Housing and Development Board (HDB) has awarded a S$144.6 million contract to Koh Brothers Building and Civil Engineering Contractor to develop Punggol estate into a premier waterfront town. Plans to revamp Punggol were announced by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the National Day Rally in August 2007. They include the construction of a 4.2-kilometre waterway which will be connected to Sungei Punggol. Construction of the waterway is scheduled to start in February and complete by the fourth quarter of 2010. Residents in Punggol can look forward to various recreational activities that range from water sports to walks on landscaped promenades along the banks of the waterway. More than 4,000 public flats have already been launched in Punggol. By end-2011, there will be about 23,000 completed flats in the estate. In the longer term, another 21,000 units of public and private housing will be built along the waterway for residents to enjoy waterfront housing in Singapore's latest town.Thursday, January 1, 2009
Densha Otoko
Densha Otoko is a very funny Japanese show that's supposed to be based on a true story. A bit of intro from wikipedia:
Densha Otoko (電車男, translated as Train Man) is a Japanese movie, television series, manga, novel, and other media, all based on the purportedly true story of a 23-year-old otaku (Japanese geek) who intervened when a drunk man was harassing several women on a train. The otaku ultimately begins dating one of the women.There's a movie and a drama version. I'm watching the drama version now. Here's the starting part of Episode 1 to get you going.
The event, and the man's subsequent dates with the woman, who became known as "Hermès" (エルメス, Erumesu), was chronicled on the Japanese mega-BBS 2channel. This led to the compilation of the relevant threads in a book, followed by several manga versions, a movie, a theatrical play later released as a DVD, and finally a TV series.
Densha Otoko is a popular example of the "nice guy" class of Japanese geeks who wish to lead normal lives, but are too shy to find a girlfriend, or speak openly anywhere but online. The television series uses a large number of computer-bound extras.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
25 Year-Old Beauty Ditches Once-Rich Banker
Read 25 Year Old Beauty Seeks Rich Banker first if you haven't.
'Remember me ? I'm the live-wire who went on the prowl in New York's trendy bars and fashionable hang-outs last year in search of a gullible (and very rich) investment banker to keep me in the style I sought to become accustomed to.
Well, after a rigorous selection process (which needed to be concluded speedily in early December as I didn't want to miss out on the customary expensive 'first-Christmas' gift), I finally found my man.
Although not much to look at, he was everything I was seeking in a mate - he was dumb, became instantly besotted with me and was truly loaded! After a few weeks of expensive dinners, luxury goods shopping with his platinum plastic, a few days skiing and quick weekend hops to both Paris and Rome, however, it all went sour. First, I found out that he'd been married before - twice. And his ex-wives and kids (he seemed to have several, although I didn't find out exactly how many as I refused to discuss them) took a substantial part of his disposable income (money which clearly I thought I would have first option on). I almost bailed out then, but worse was to follow. I discovered that he was a mortgage-backed securities trader and, you got it, he got laid off in February!
As my new car hadn't yet arrived ( I knew I should have pressed for it sooner), I was trapped. Forced to spend more time with him as he wasn't working, I was counting the days until the wheels arrived, and I could literally make my getaway. But then he did something really unbelievable - he downgraded my car order from a Porsche 911 Carrera to a Dodge Viper, claiming that he needed to be more careful with his money. I just couldn't believe how selfish he was being. Anyway, needless to say, I had to leave immediately.
So, I'm back on the market. Still 25 years-old (as I have been for the last several years), I'm now targeting lawyers - apparently those specializing in corporate recoveries and shareholder litigation are doing rather well at the moment, so I'm hoping to find my next 'partner' from the profession. A bonus is that lawyers are generally better looking than investment bankers (and slimmer too). The only downside, however, is that they also tend to be a little bit brighter, and I might have to work slightly harder (and be more clever) to obtain my dues. Wish me luck then.....'.
Bloomberg reports that the smart money feels that the credit crunch is likely to result in further marriage / relationship break-ups, as money problems and difficult domestic arrangements just don't go. The news agency quotes Sandra Davis from Mishcon de Reya, who said: 'The credit crunch shows the more sinister side of human nature. When there are problems in a relationship, money papers over the cracks. But when the money is gone, the cracks are visible'.
'Remember me ? I'm the live-wire who went on the prowl in New York's trendy bars and fashionable hang-outs last year in search of a gullible (and very rich) investment banker to keep me in the style I sought to become accustomed to.
Well, after a rigorous selection process (which needed to be concluded speedily in early December as I didn't want to miss out on the customary expensive 'first-Christmas' gift), I finally found my man.
Although not much to look at, he was everything I was seeking in a mate - he was dumb, became instantly besotted with me and was truly loaded! After a few weeks of expensive dinners, luxury goods shopping with his platinum plastic, a few days skiing and quick weekend hops to both Paris and Rome, however, it all went sour. First, I found out that he'd been married before - twice. And his ex-wives and kids (he seemed to have several, although I didn't find out exactly how many as I refused to discuss them) took a substantial part of his disposable income (money which clearly I thought I would have first option on). I almost bailed out then, but worse was to follow. I discovered that he was a mortgage-backed securities trader and, you got it, he got laid off in February!
As my new car hadn't yet arrived ( I knew I should have pressed for it sooner), I was trapped. Forced to spend more time with him as he wasn't working, I was counting the days until the wheels arrived, and I could literally make my getaway. But then he did something really unbelievable - he downgraded my car order from a Porsche 911 Carrera to a Dodge Viper, claiming that he needed to be more careful with his money. I just couldn't believe how selfish he was being. Anyway, needless to say, I had to leave immediately.
So, I'm back on the market. Still 25 years-old (as I have been for the last several years), I'm now targeting lawyers - apparently those specializing in corporate recoveries and shareholder litigation are doing rather well at the moment, so I'm hoping to find my next 'partner' from the profession. A bonus is that lawyers are generally better looking than investment bankers (and slimmer too). The only downside, however, is that they also tend to be a little bit brighter, and I might have to work slightly harder (and be more clever) to obtain my dues. Wish me luck then.....'.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
25 Year Old Beauty Seeks Rich Banker
05/10/2007 following exchange took place on Craigslist - don’t miss the investment banker's response
'What am I doing wrong?’
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board ? Any wives ? Could you send me some tips ? I dated a business man who made an average of around 200 - 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker, and lives in Tribeca. She’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right ? How do I get to her level ?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out ? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting ?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the so plain? I’ve seen really ‘Plain Jane’ boring types, who have nothing to offer incredibly wealthy guys. Then I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the . What’s the story there ?
- Lawyers, investment bankers, doctors. How much do those guys really make ? And where do the hedge fund guys hang out ?
- How do you rich guys decide on marriage vs. just a girlfriend ? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial - at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice hearth and home'.
An Investment Banker's Response:
Dear Pers-431649184:
'I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time. I qualify as a guy who fits your bill - that is, I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I see it:
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is a plain and simple crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity - in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, however, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain - you’re 25 now and will likely remain pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 - stick a fork in you!
So, in Wall Street terms, we'd call you a trading position - not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you’re asking) - so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you - so when your beauty fades I need an out too. It’s as simple as that. So the deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful' as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, your $500K man hasn’t found you - if only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money - and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic 'pump and dump'. I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, please let me know'.
Response to investment banker:
'Ah! But I am an depreciating asset all right (for that matter, you are too - but your cash flow stream more than overcompensates for the toxicity of the future tummy expansion, and contraction of the hair). But the depreciating asset is a convertible one with two embedded options:
The first option is for conversion to a wife, preferably before the day that the hair / tummy factor becomes less than positive and cashflow benefits become more important. If you do not take up that wife-conversion option, then the expanding gut and thinning hair will require a constantly and exponentially increasing stream of invested earnings to attract young chicks.
The second option is that you have a put option on a baby (which is preferably contingent on the first option being exercised), safe in the knowledge that good genes will be passed on. You have to admit, the main reason why you investment bankers are so attractive is because you can make money. However, we have established information that those money-making genes do not travel very well. My good looks will probably be passed on though.
So, for an upfront investment in this depreciating asset will, in the long run, make your overall yield curve positive.
'What am I doing wrong?’
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board ? Any wives ? Could you send me some tips ? I dated a business man who made an average of around 200 - 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker, and lives in Tribeca. She’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right ? How do I get to her level ?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out ? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting ?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the so plain? I’ve seen really ‘Plain Jane’ boring types, who have nothing to offer incredibly wealthy guys. Then I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the . What’s the story there ?
- Lawyers, investment bankers, doctors. How much do those guys really make ? And where do the hedge fund guys hang out ?
- How do you rich guys decide on marriage vs. just a girlfriend ? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial - at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice hearth and home'.
An Investment Banker's Response:
Dear Pers-431649184:
'I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time. I qualify as a guy who fits your bill - that is, I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I see it:
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is a plain and simple crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity - in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, however, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain - you’re 25 now and will likely remain pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 - stick a fork in you!
So, in Wall Street terms, we'd call you a trading position - not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you’re asking) - so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you - so when your beauty fades I need an out too. It’s as simple as that. So the deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful' as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, your $500K man hasn’t found you - if only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money - and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic 'pump and dump'. I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, please let me know'.
Response to investment banker:
'Ah! But I am an depreciating asset all right (for that matter, you are too - but your cash flow stream more than overcompensates for the toxicity of the future tummy expansion, and contraction of the hair). But the depreciating asset is a convertible one with two embedded options:
The first option is for conversion to a wife, preferably before the day that the hair / tummy factor becomes less than positive and cashflow benefits become more important. If you do not take up that wife-conversion option, then the expanding gut and thinning hair will require a constantly and exponentially increasing stream of invested earnings to attract young chicks.
The second option is that you have a put option on a baby (which is preferably contingent on the first option being exercised), safe in the knowledge that good genes will be passed on. You have to admit, the main reason why you investment bankers are so attractive is because you can make money. However, we have established information that those money-making genes do not travel very well. My good looks will probably be passed on though.
So, for an upfront investment in this depreciating asset will, in the long run, make your overall yield curve positive.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Hat-seller joke
A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under oneof the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side.
A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys andthey had taken all his hats. he sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down
While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same.Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.
He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed
Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, he threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree,grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said.............
Guess What????????
"You think only you have a grandfather?"
A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys andthey had taken all his hats. he sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down
While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same.Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.
He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed
Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, he threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree,grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said.............
Guess What????????
"You think only you have a grandfather?"
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Man and Woman
HER DIARY -
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was up set. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to Do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY -
Today Man U lost to Arsenal. Shit.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was up set. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to Do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY -
Today Man U lost to Arsenal. Shit.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Jokes
The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm sorry to hear about the attack.
It is a very big tragedy. But in case, you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
===============================================
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept 2001:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...I will call back in an hour!
===============================================
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says,
"Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
and Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
===============================================
*Pakistani on the moon:*
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ....... Problem Solved!!!
===============================================
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York .
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers say: "A Terrorist kills innocent American dog".
It is a very big tragedy. But in case, you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
===============================================
Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept 2001:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...I will call back in an hour!
===============================================
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says,
"Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
and Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
===============================================
*Pakistani on the moon:*
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
A: Problem...
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ....... Problem Solved!!!
===============================================
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York .
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers say: "A Terrorist kills innocent American dog".
Friday, September 14, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
Interesting Story
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear: "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said "let's get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry dept..where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you -- she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement; smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for The Things I buy you?"
Apparently, I'm not having sex that day either.
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear: "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said "let's get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry dept..where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you -- she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement; smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for The Things I buy you?"
Apparently, I'm not having sex that day either.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
