Motivational Story 01 (Friends during Recession)

This was posted by xtreyier on SgForums on 21 Jan 2009. Reproduced from http://sports.sgforums.com/forums/10/topics/345094 as follows:

Friends are the most important people in one's life, someone whom you can relate to, look up to, and confide to, more so when experiencing bad weathers such as this crisis.

A dry shelter and hot soup from the pouring rain warms the heart.

While everyone is affected by the doom and gloom of the recession, many faced it in varying degrees. Some are least affected, and felt more as an irritation, and some totally overwhelmed and left helpless.

For those of us who can get by, we must never abandon the seemingly helpless. While we may not have sums of money to lend, we can still afford a meal or two, a coffee or two, an ear or two to comfort and encourage.

No fellow Singaporean must be left alone in helplessness. We are a civilised society, with the building blocks being our own family, relatives and friends. This recession was not of our making or our mistake. It came out of the blue like a Tsunami wave rushing towards all, overwhelming many.

We must each encourage one another, never to give up on hope, for the reality is that bad times, like good times, dont last. Today, some may be down, but tomorrow they will rise.

This is the natural course of journey in life. And good friends will make that journey better and more meaningful as life is shared.

I remembered during NS days, one of my collegue was sitting on the parapet of a HDB top floor corridor after booking out of camp at night. I and several friends spent 6 hours into the early morning talking him out of jumping because of a failed relationship over his grad girlfriend who ditched him for a brit foreign talent.

We failed our IPPT test a few hours later as we did not have enough sleep and was sentenced to RT training. The pain was real, but certainly not as painful compared to a friend if lost in a suicide.

There was a time when I was down and out, and abandoned by 'friends' and family. I will always remember the indian mamak who pressed a bun into my shivering hands, the chinese construction supervisor who ordered and paid for a plate of chicken rice to me when he saw me drinking plain water with a bun in a coffeeshop, and the Muslim matron who invited me to her home and had dinner with her family, amongst many who were kind to me.

I have a brain, hands and legs, courage and determination to face up and pay for my errors and knew I would succeed again, and when i did, I repaid those kind people many times over.

As much as others condemn us as kiasu people, at heart, we are kind people. And these people are my fellow citizens - Singaporeans. Flawed, imperfect, whiners, seemingly uncaring, but heart always in the right place.

Therefore, dont give up on hope or giving out hope to others. We all will ride out this recession together, stronger as a society as long as no one is suffer alone or left alone. Friendships are all the more important now, whether you are an 8 year old or 80 year old.

Jokes

叉烧包和空心包去看一个很伤感的电影， 为什么只有叉烧包哭了？
因为叉烧包有filling （feeling）

叉烧包后来和豆沙包去看一个很伤感的电影， 为什么只有叉烧包哭得比较伤感？
因为他们有不同的 filling （feeling）

小明是喝牛奶长大的，那么请问大明是喝什么长大的？
酒 （酒养大名“明”）

一天阿包被杀了，警察很快就找出凶手，请问是谁杀的？
阿豆杀的 （豆沙“杀”包）

为什么米粉会说鱼不老实？
因为鱼片“骗”米粉

两个女人面对面冲凉，猜一句成语。
豆奶 （斗奶）

Happy姓什么？
Lee （因为：Happily）

Happy是男的还是女的？
Male （因为：Happymeal）

请问人的心是什么颜色的呢？
黄色 （因为人心黄黄（人心惶惶）

什么书是任何书局都买不到的？
秘书

狗为什么害怕日光浴？
因为它怕变成热狗

小明只会花钱，天天花很多钱,可最后却成了百万富翁,为什么？
他以前是億萬富翁，千萬富翁

什么动物的头最常被人扭？
水龙（头）

美丽的公主结婚以后就不挂蚊帐了，为什么？
因为她嫁给了青蛙王子

S$144.6m contract awarded for Punggol redevelopment

SINGAPORE: The Housing and Development Board (HDB) has awarded a S$144.6 million contract to Koh Brothers Building and Civil Engineering Contractor to develop Punggol estate into a premier waterfront town. Plans to revamp Punggol were announced by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the National Day Rally in August 2007. They include the construction of a 4.2-kilometre waterway which will be connected to Sungei Punggol. Construction of the waterway is scheduled to start in February and complete by the fourth quarter of 2010. Residents in Punggol can look forward to various recreational activities that range from water sports to walks on landscaped promenades along the banks of the waterway. More than 4,000 public flats have already been launched in Punggol. By end-2011, there will be about 23,000 completed flats in the estate. In the longer term, another 21,000 units of public and private housing will be built along the waterway for residents to enjoy waterfront housing in Singapore's latest town.

Densha Otoko

Densha Otoko is a very funny Japanese show that's supposed to be based on a true story. A bit of intro from wikipedia:

Densha Otoko (電車男, translated as Train Man) is a Japanese movie, television series, manga, novel, and other media, all based on the purportedly true story of a 23-year-old otaku (Japanese geek) who intervened when a drunk man was harassing several women on a train. The otaku ultimately begins dating one of the women.

The event, and the man's subsequent dates with the woman, who became known as "Hermès" (エルメス, Erumesu), was chronicled on the Japanese mega-BBS 2channel. This led to the compilation of the relevant threads in a book, followed by several manga versions, a movie, a theatrical play later released as a DVD, and finally a TV series.

Densha Otoko is a popular example of the "nice guy" class of Japanese geeks who wish to lead normal lives, but are too shy to find a girlfriend, or speak openly anywhere but online. The television series uses a large number of computer-bound extras.

There's a movie and a drama version. I'm watching the drama version now. Here's the starting part of Episode 1 to get you going.

25 Year-Old Beauty Ditches Once-Rich Banker

Read 25 Year Old Beauty Seeks Rich Banker first if you haven't.

Bloomberg reports that the smart money feels that the credit crunch is likely to result in further marriage / relationship break-ups, as money problems and difficult domestic arrangements just don't go. The news agency quotes Sandra Davis from Mishcon de Reya, who said: 'The credit crunch shows the more sinister side of human nature. When there are problems in a relationship, money papers over the cracks. But when the money is gone, the cracks are visible'.

'Remember me ? I'm the live-wire who went on the prowl in New York's trendy bars and fashionable hang-outs last year in search of a gullible (and very rich) investment banker to keep me in the style I sought to become accustomed to.

Well, after a rigorous selection process (which needed to be concluded speedily in early December as I didn't want to miss out on the customary expensive 'first-Christmas' gift), I finally found my man.

Although not much to look at, he was everything I was seeking in a mate - he was dumb, became instantly besotted with me and was truly loaded! After a few weeks of expensive dinners, luxury goods shopping with his platinum plastic, a few days skiing and quick weekend hops to both Paris and Rome, however, it all went sour. First, I found out that he'd been married before - twice. And his ex-wives and kids (he seemed to have several, although I didn't find out exactly how many as I refused to discuss them) took a substantial part of his disposable income (money which clearly I thought I would have first option on). I almost bailed out then, but worse was to follow. I discovered that he was a mortgage-backed securities trader and, you got it, he got laid off in February!

As my new car hadn't yet arrived ( I knew I should have pressed for it sooner), I was trapped. Forced to spend more time with him as he wasn't working, I was counting the days until the wheels arrived, and I could literally make my getaway. But then he did something really unbelievable - he downgraded my car order from a Porsche 911 Carrera to a Dodge Viper, claiming that he needed to be more careful with his money. I just couldn't believe how selfish he was being. Anyway, needless to say, I had to leave immediately.

So, I'm back on the market. Still 25 years-old (as I have been for the last several years), I'm now targeting lawyers - apparently those specializing in corporate recoveries and shareholder litigation are doing rather well at the moment, so I'm hoping to find my next 'partner' from the profession. A bonus is that lawyers are generally better looking than investment bankers (and slimmer too). The only downside, however, is that they also tend to be a little bit brighter, and I might have to work slightly harder (and be more clever) to obtain my dues. Wish me luck then.....'.

25 Year Old Beauty Seeks Rich Banker

05/10/2007 following exchange took place on Craigslist - don’t miss the investment banker's response
'What am I doing wrong?’
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board ? Any wives ? Could you send me some tips ? I dated a business man who made an average of around 200 - 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker, and lives in Tribeca. She’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right ? How do I get to her level ?

Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out ? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting ?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the so plain? I’ve seen really ‘Plain Jane’ boring types, who have nothing to offer incredibly wealthy guys. Then I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the . What’s the story there ?

- Lawyers, investment bankers, doctors. How much do those guys really make ? And where do the hedge fund guys hang out ?

- How do you rich guys decide on marriage vs. just a girlfriend ? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial - at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice hearth and home'.

An Investment Banker's Response:

Dear Pers-431649184:

'I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time. I qualify as a guy who fits your bill - that is, I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I see it:

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is a plain and simple crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity - in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, however, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain - you’re 25 now and will likely remain pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 - stick a fork in you!

So, in Wall Street terms, we'd call you a trading position - not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you’re asking) - so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you - so when your beauty fades I need an out too. It’s as simple as that. So the deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful' as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, your $500K man hasn’t found you - if only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money - and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic 'pump and dump'. I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, please let me know'.


Response to investment banker:

'Ah! But I am an depreciating asset all right (for that matter, you are too - but your cash flow stream more than overcompensates for the toxicity of the future tummy expansion, and contraction of the hair). But the depreciating asset is a convertible one with two embedded options:

The first option is for conversion to a wife, preferably before the day that the hair / tummy factor becomes less than positive and cashflow benefits become more important. If you do not take up that wife-conversion option, then the expanding gut and thinning hair will require a constantly and exponentially increasing stream of invested earnings to attract young chicks.

The second option is that you have a put option on a baby (which is preferably contingent on the first option being exercised), safe in the knowledge that good genes will be passed on. You have to admit, the main reason why you investment bankers are so attractive is because you can make money. However, we have established information that those money-making genes do not travel very well. My good looks will probably be passed on though.

So, for an upfront investment in this depreciating asset will, in the long run, make your overall yield curve positive.

Hat-seller joke

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under oneof the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side.

A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys andthey had taken all his hats. he sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down

While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same.Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.

He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed

Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, he threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree,grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said.............

Guess What????????

"You think only you have a grandfather?"